I'm Not Sure this is News But

So they found some fossils that proved that early ancestors of the typist here actually had hands and feet adapted to trees and walking upright. I really don't think this is any kind of news, as it was very familiar to me, but then again, my memory these days is scattered all over the board.

But what was cool about it was the headline:

"Extinct Tree-Climbing Human Walked with a Swagger"

That's what I'm talking about (said in the best Joey Tribiani voice one can muster). Early man was a ladies' man...or at least he tried to be. He swaggered about the savannah, pipe in hand, dinner jacket on his back and his bum hanging out!

You couldn't ask for better ancestors!